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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27722849">You are your own enemy</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PumpkinKip/pseuds/PumpkinKip'>PumpkinKip</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Call of Duty (Video Games), Call of Duty: Zombies - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>+tommy is cute nickname, Implied Parental Abuse, M bcs it might get dark, M/M, Modern AU, Tank is sometimes called Thomas bcs fuck calling him Tank all the time, This is kinda a vent, Trauma, all about Nik, as usual, idk - Freeform, it’s just a self indulgent modern au where I project a lot, mentions of abuse, self hate</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:56:47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,801</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27722849</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PumpkinKip/pseuds/PumpkinKip</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Modern AU. Nik centric with lots of Tank like usual. Other characters will appear soon, alongside NiDe.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Nikolai Belinski/"Tank" Dempsey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The rain battered the Russian’s frame as his boots thudded on the pavement below him, his green hoodie was drenched with it and in turn his shirt and skin was too. His left arm curled to grip his right side as his right hand was shaky on his phone attempting to open his contacts, the light of the menu cutting through the clouded night sky and causing him to wince. He scrolled down as he moved along, a familiar name repeating in his mind until he saw said name on the screen and he hesitated only for a moment before pressing call. As much as he felt bad about calling him at some time past 3am, he also knew he’d either freeze or bleed out on the streets without any help and as tempting as that was he’d decided against it.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He continued to trudge along as he pressed the phone against his ear in wait, feeling his own blood seeping through his fingers that held his side and screwing his eyes shut in some bizarre attempt to make himself stop bleeding (which, go figure, did not work). He was numb from both the cold and remnants of shock that left his head foggy, starting to sway before the familiar American voice pulled him back to his senses. “Hey Nik, what’s up?” He was glad Thomas didn’t sound tired- waking him up would make him feel pretty bad- his tone was almost playful, not too shocking considering he probably thought Nikolai was drunk but that thought didn’t last particularly long. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Can you pick me up?” His voice shook, heavy patter of rain being picked up through the call alongside his uneven and shaky footsteps. He was shuddering- although he wasn’t too sure what it was from at that point. Dempsey’s tone shifted immediately and shifting was heard from his end as he pulled himself to his feet to start to head out to his car. “Where are you?” He know something was wrong- he could just... tell at point- and he knew enough about Nik’s home life to have a rough idea of what had happened. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uhh..” Nik glanced around himself, realising that he actually had no clue how long he had been walking. Could’ve been a minute, could’ve been thirty. “Somewhere between my house and...” The words didn’t come easy as his thoughts grew hazy, closing his eyes once again and trying desperately to clear his head. “I know what you mean, I’ll be there soon. Be careful, Okay?” The Russian just mumbled in response, soon greeted once again by silence and sighing before slipping his slightly bloodied phone into his pocket. He moved his left hand from the cut on his right side and pressed his right arm against it instead, wiping off the worst of the blood on his shorts as he continued to walk along. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He honestly had no clue how long he’d been walking for before he saw the warm glow of lights coming down the road and he couldn’t help but smile, the car soon pulling up beside him and coming to a brief stop that allowed Nikolai to open the door and slip himself inside before closing it behind him. The warmth soothed him near instantly, his shuddering mostly ceasing as he leaned back, closed his eyes and murmured a soft “Sorry..” to the man beside him. “It’s okay.” Tank soothed, reaching over to place a towel over the Russian as a makeshift blanket and seeing the cut that dug into his side unable to hide a frown. “I knew you shouldn’t of went back there, Nik.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He pulled out from the side of the road, driving down to find somewhere to turn.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nikolai was silent for a moment, looking away from him out of the window. “It is fine.” His voice was hoarse, shock starting to wear off allowing the pain from his injuries to finally set in. “He just-“ “He’s awful.” Tank cut him off, anger burning at his core not aimed towards Nik himself- but the man, his own fucking father, who hurt him time and time again. He could never understand how someone could be so awful- especially to their own fucking kid. “I’m not letting you go back there.” “I know, Tom.” Nik knew it wasn’t normal and it wasn’t good but he didn’t want to bother anyone with his own issues. The American glanced only briefly over to him before looking back to the road, wanting to get back as fast as they could so he could see what had actually happened. “We can talk more about that later, alright? We need you get you home.” His tone grew soft again and the Russian was thankful for it, leaning back into the seat. “Sorry- Your car is going to be a mess.” He mumbled, leading the taller man to roll his eyes with a bit of a laugh. “It’s fine, Nikki. This thing is shit anyways.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It didn’t take them too much longer to get to Tank’s apartment and pull into the side of the road to park, the two of the, getting out of the car afterwards and starting to head inside from the cold and the rain.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tank was quickly by the Russian’s side, wrapping an arm around his shoulder to support him and starting to walk the both of them up the stairs and inside. It wasn’t too long before they has made it to the bathroom, Nik pulling off his soaked hoodie and placing it in the shower as to keep the floor clear. “Where’s my bag?” He asked, soon being handed it by the American and starting to rummage through to the bottom and grabbing some bandages out with a sigh of relief. They weren’t soaked, thankfully enough. He tugged his shirt off next and placed it beside his hoodie, finally starting to properly clean off the gash in his right side nonchalantly as Tank watched in concern. “Do you want Ed to look over that?” “No.” The American signed, ain’t particularly shocked by that answer. “I have cleaned my own cuts plenty of times, Tom.” “I know, but-“ “I will be fine.” He dampened the towel just a bit to wipe away the dried blood, afterwards starting to wrap his wound with a shocking familiarity for someone with no experience in the medical field of things. Tank left the room for just a moment before returning with a clean shirt and some boxers for the Russian. “Here- they might not fit but they’re clean.” He tossed them to him, Nik laughing softly as he got to his feet. “Thank you.” “Give me your bag- I can put it by the radiator to dry and wash the shit in it.” Nik obliged and handed him the rucksack with a smile before Tank walked off, putting the new, clean clothes on once he was gone with a sigh of relief. He was honestly just happy to be warm, clean and bandaged even if he knew Tom would be babying him for the next age.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He waited in the bathroom aimlessly until his friend returned, the two smiling to each other. “Come on, you need to sleep.” Tank murmured to him, pulling the smaller of the two into a hug before pretty much dragging him through to his bedroom and rubbing his back. “I can sleep on the couch, T-“ “No, you need a proper rest Nik.” The Russian glared at him for a moment before giving up with a sigh and flopping himself down into the bed with a bit of a groan, curling under the covers rather quickly. His bed was comfy- much more comfortable than sleeping on an old busted mattress anyways, and it definitely didn’t take Nik long to fall asleep.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>local Russian is touch starved and wants to sleep for a year</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The water was knee deep. Clear but dark as it reflected his surroundings- only beginning to turn scarlet from the blood that dripped down his legs. He didn’t feel anything- looking down to note that many of his scars- old and new- had opened up again. He stared as the crimson tainted the liquid, ears ringing in the silence as he slowly lifted his head.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">‘I’m dreaming.’</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Even with that thought, that knowledge, a familiar figure that stood not far from him still put a pit in his stomach and filled him with fear- he wanted to run but he was frozen in place like a deer in the headlights, he wanted to scream but his chest felt hollow. All he could do was stand, screw his eyes shut and ignore the fear the gripped him like a vice-</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nik woke up in a cold sweat. The quiet noise of some random youtube video grounded him, eyes pulling themselves open to see Tank sitting at his desktop watching said video. He had dreams like that often and usually waking up wasn’t any better but this was a sharp contrast to that normality. He watched the American for that moment, grip tight on the covers as he slowly let himself adjust and breathe. He was safe, he wasn’t there, and he was okay. He was okay. Rubbing his eyes and finally sitting up he offered a bit of a weary smile as the American turned to him looking rather concerned. “Shit- did I wake you?” He asked, Nik shaking his head in response. “No. What time is it?” “5pm, you slept for an age.” Tank laughed, and the Russian felt at ease with the sound. “Ah.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They both stayed silent for a moment but it was comfortable, soothing in a way. “I washed your clothes- your shirt and hoodie are pretty fucked though.” Tank commented, getting to his feet. “You want to shower and I’ll start to make some food? You can just borrow something of mine.” He nodded, stretching his arms and shaking slightly as he pulled himself out of the bed. It was so comfy- he was rather envious of it. “Thank you.” Getting some warm food and a warm shower did sound pretty good about now and soon enough Tank tossed him a shirt and his boxers. “You know where the towels are, yeah?” Nikolai nodded in response, starting to head through to the bathroom to take that much needed shower.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It did give him a good opportunity to properly clean out his cut and replace the bandages- and just generally get clean. He was pretty scuffed after everything that happened and actually getting a warm shower was something of a commodity to him. He was used to showering quick (them usually being cold did that to you) but he was careful around any bruises and cuts he had, just gently cleaning them out with some water and trying his best to avoid dousing them with shower gel. Even if the warmth did make him want to go right back to sleep where he stood he managed to pull himself out fairly quickly, drying off and replacing the bandages on himself with a good bit more care this time before getting dressed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The shirt was far too big for him but it was comfortable so he couldn’t care less, just happy to be clean and warm and comfortable. Heading out of the bathroom and into the little living room and kitchen area of Tank’s apartment, he plopped himself down on the couch and let out a groan as his back cracked at the movement. God did he feel old. “That was quick.” The American commented with a chuckle, glancing over from where he was standing stirring some pasta. He wasn’t the best cook but he could make some good Mac and cheese and it was one hell of a comfort food. “Da, da. Not all of us like to spend an hour showering.” Nik teased in response, eyes slipping shut as he felt himself starting to drift off once again. Even with sleeping for 14 something hours he was still exhausted, but the American’s response woke him up a bit.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I enjoy my hour of warmth, thank you very much. You can put something on the TV if you want, this will be ready soon.” “I do not understand how you do not get bored.” Nik grabbed the remote, turning the television on and going onto Netflix on it. “I have plenty of ways to entertain myself, Nikki.” He could hear the stupid grin in Tank’s voice, and felt himself flush slightly in response. “Eugh. Gross.” He grumbled (even if that was a bit of a lie) before selecting the first episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender for them to watch because damn was that show a comfort to him (and it was just really good, honestly.) He relaxed, repeating the words of the introduction to himself alongside the show and letting himself sink into the couch with a content sigh.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It didn’t take Tank long to walk through with the two bowls of macaroni cheese, handing one to the Russian before sitting down beside him and looking to the TV. “Good choice.” He was honestly just happy Nik was content and would be getting a good meal. “When was the last time you ate?” He didn’t get an answer, the other both having his mouth full and not really knowing when he’d last ate. Shrugging, he finally swallowed his food so he could actually say something. “I dunno, cannot remember.” He laughed, nervous, before going quiet again to continue to watch the show. Even with the lacklustre answer Tank didn’t push further as to not make the Russian uncomfortable (and he knew he probably would get any more of an answer anyways) so the two of them just ate and watched avatar in peace for a little while.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What are we going to do about beds?” Nik glanced over to the American with an eyebrow raised “I can sleep on the couch-“ “No, you need a proper bed.” Tank cut him off, still thinking about what they would do. “It is a double bed.” He murmured nonchalantly before looking back to the Russian who had clearly flushed quite a bit at the comment. “I would not mind-“ Nik mumbled in reply to which Tank smiled. “Alright, that’s fine then!” So that was sorted! There was plenty room for the both of them anyways and it wouldn’t exactly be the first time they’d slept in the same bed. Plenty of times they’d gotten drunk or even just stayed up too late and passed out together but he supposed it felt a bit different when it was actually planned.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Soon enough Nik had placed down the now empty bowl on the coffee table and sat back, now fully focused on the TV with wide, blue eyes. Tank took the bowl and pulled himself to his feet to head back through and place them in the kitchen sink- he could clean them later, for now he wanted to make sure Nik was alright. He sat back down beside him, the sudden shift in weight and the noise making the Russian jump a bit and his head snapped to look at the American before he settled and even leaned against him a bit, Tank smiling in response and ever so slightly wrapping an arm around the smaller man. “You sure you don’t want someone to check that cut out? It seemed bad.” “No.” “Nik-“ “It is fine. Did you not have work today-“ The change in subject was far too obvious even for Dempsey not to notice but eh didn’t push it, shaking his head. “Called in sick, I didn’t want to just... leave you here.” He shrugged but was unsurprised when he got a bit of glare in response. “You shouldn’t have- I am not a baby.” “Yeah, yeah, but you weren’t exactly in the best state. I’m off tomorrow too, then back the next day after.” He absentmindedly ran a hand through the Russian’s wet hair and couldn’t help but smile at the way he pressed up into the touch, eyes slipping shut for a moment. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Nik was touch starved- they both knew that- so Tank certainly didn’t mind giving him lots of physical affection even if they weren’t more than friends just yet and judging by his reaction the other didn’t mind it either. “You still tired?” The hand continued to play with the Russian’s hair, who wearily blinked his eyes open and mumbled something incoherent in response. “We could go back to bed- there’s a TV in there too.” It was silent for a moment, he could see on his face that Nik was thinking, and before long he wearily pushed himself to his feet and mumbled something about bed. Tank followed with a laugh, starting to head through to the bedroom alongside him. “Yeah, thought so.”</span>
</p>
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